After my last blog I realize how the Lord surely works in mysterious ways. I went to check out a new church that is closer than the one we've been attending & the topic was mountain moving prayers. The pastor spoke about how we all tend to pray in ER situations & when God pulls thru for us we say thank you & then don't talk to him again until we need him. However if you have something in your life that is such a burden to you you must continually pray that God can move that mountain for you & be prepared for him to answer in his own time & ask yourself if you're also doing your part.
He then spoke about the the burden his wife & he had was trying to have a baby & how God was already working his plan. He asked why he a man of the word was not granted the one desire of his heart & he wrote in his journal the depths of his sorrow & despair & one year to the day his baby girl came into the world.
The funny thing is I realized after that service that my church is where i need to be no matter how far the drive but i also know w/out a doubt I was meant to be in that service on that day!
Maybe I'll have news soon but if not the Lord is granting me some peace in the matter.
8/28/07
8/25/07
am I going about this the right way?
This life is sometimes so amazing & so frustrating all @ the same time. Many times I am so overwhelmed with things & wonder if i have a baby will i even be able to keep up with it all?
My illness is so consuming sometimes that I wonder if this is why the Lord has chosen to not bless me with a baby yet.
I do this sometimes & i wonder if we don't all do these sorts of things. I am so secure in my beliefs but i also find myself questioning His purpose & wonder if He's sure he knows what He's doing? Yet of course He does. There are the times situations arise & I cannot possibly see what God's plan from this can possibly be. On many things I still am not sure what good has come but in other situations I can feel his presence so surely that I'm awed by His workings.
I am mainly frustrated when I find myself playing a mind game with myself. Am i too mean to my husband sometimes? Did I push him to hard,did I do so many sins that God is punishing me? Do I believe this NO but sometimes Satan can have such a pull on your mind.
I will sometimes wonder what if It's not In God's plan for my life not to be a mother. The thought utterly devastates me but do I have enough faith in him that i would be the woman he needs me to be? Maybe right now he needs me to be consumed with Him only he wants to know He & He alone can suffice to take care of my needs .
I am so grateful to the Lord for the amazing life he has granted me so far. I have been to the bottom of the barrel more than once in my life but @ the same time I have people who genuinely
love me. My husband alone is an amazing gift most people can only wish for.
One of my favorite quotes is "why even pray to God when you're too busy coming up with your own answer that you miss the one God has in store for you"
I hope That baby is in my future but till then may i be a woman in love with her husband & be satisfied with that even when it hurts real bad!
My illness is so consuming sometimes that I wonder if this is why the Lord has chosen to not bless me with a baby yet.
I do this sometimes & i wonder if we don't all do these sorts of things. I am so secure in my beliefs but i also find myself questioning His purpose & wonder if He's sure he knows what He's doing? Yet of course He does. There are the times situations arise & I cannot possibly see what God's plan from this can possibly be. On many things I still am not sure what good has come but in other situations I can feel his presence so surely that I'm awed by His workings.
I am mainly frustrated when I find myself playing a mind game with myself. Am i too mean to my husband sometimes? Did I push him to hard,did I do so many sins that God is punishing me? Do I believe this NO but sometimes Satan can have such a pull on your mind.
I will sometimes wonder what if It's not In God's plan for my life not to be a mother. The thought utterly devastates me but do I have enough faith in him that i would be the woman he needs me to be? Maybe right now he needs me to be consumed with Him only he wants to know He & He alone can suffice to take care of my needs .
I am so grateful to the Lord for the amazing life he has granted me so far. I have been to the bottom of the barrel more than once in my life but @ the same time I have people who genuinely
love me. My husband alone is an amazing gift most people can only wish for.
One of my favorite quotes is "why even pray to God when you're too busy coming up with your own answer that you miss the one God has in store for you"
I hope That baby is in my future but till then may i be a woman in love with her husband & be satisfied with that even when it hurts real bad!
8/7/07
pregnancy test...more like torture test
2 lines means pregger one means no, if it makes a cross you're definitely positive...umm is that 2 lines or not? Let's go buy 5 more just 2 be sure!
Anyone who has EVER taken a home pregnancy test knows what I mean! these things are cruel & unusual punishment. I swear every time one of these things tell me no I'm sure for just a second it flashes the word "haha" in there somewhere.
Who came up with these things anyways? I'm thinking that when I buy a box of more than one there's always the one test that has an error. Is this some sick scam to make money off us desperate woman? I wouldn't doubt it.
The joy of having to pee on a stick & somehow you always pee on your hand. My friends all say pee in a cup & then dip the stick in the cup. They tell me it's foolproof-umm am I the only one who never makes it home & must use the test @ the store for fear of bursting with excitement?
Anyone who has EVER taken a home pregnancy test knows what I mean! these things are cruel & unusual punishment. I swear every time one of these things tell me no I'm sure for just a second it flashes the word "haha" in there somewhere.
Who came up with these things anyways? I'm thinking that when I buy a box of more than one there's always the one test that has an error. Is this some sick scam to make money off us desperate woman? I wouldn't doubt it.
The joy of having to pee on a stick & somehow you always pee on your hand. My friends all say pee in a cup & then dip the stick in the cup. They tell me it's foolproof-umm am I the only one who never makes it home & must use the test @ the store for fear of bursting with excitement?
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